Question:
“I am struggling deeply after my marriage of five years ended. My ex-husband asked me to leave our home, and he has since moved in with another woman. I am left with our child, no job, no income, and no support, as there is no strong child support policy in place. I want to forget him, heal, and move on, but I feel overwhelmed. How can I start rebuilding my life?”
Answer:
I’m truly sorry to hear about the pain and challenges you’re going through. The end of a marriage, especially under such difficult circumstances, can feel overwhelming. It’s natural to feel hurt, angry, and even lost right now. Healing takes time, so allow yourself to experience these emotions—they’re part of the process.
Remember, you’re not alone, and your feelings are completely valid. This is a challenging journey, but step by step, you can find strength and peace again.
Here are some steps to help you begin moving forward:
- Allow Yourself to Grieve
Take the time to feel and process your emotions. Losing a relationship, especially when you’ve invested so much in it, is a deep loss. Allowing yourself to grieve without judgment can be healing, and remember, it’s okay to feel these emotions. - Reconnect with Yourself
During relationships, we often focus on others’ needs and may lose touch with who we are. Take this time to rediscover yourself—your interests, passions, and dreams. Start small, maybe by pursuing a hobby or spending time on an activity that brings you peace. These moments will help you rebuild your self-identity and confidence. - Take Practical Steps Toward Stability
You’re facing a big challenge financially, especially with a child to support. Consider reaching out to local organizations that empower single mothers or offer training and job resources. There are groups in Kenya that provide assistance to women going through similar situations. Creating a stable environment for you and your child is essential, and you’re not alone—there are people and organizations that can help. - Focus on Your Child’s Well-Being
It’s hard, but try to be emotionally present for your child. They need stability, comfort, and love. By being there for them, you’re already providing a strong foundation, and they’ll benefit greatly from your care and attention. - Seek Counseling or Support Groups
Talking to a professional counselor or joining a support group for women can be incredibly healing. It helps to know you’re not alone, and sharing your story with others who’ve been through similar challenges can be comforting and empowering. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage your stress and emotions. - Take Small Steps Toward Independence
Each day, aim to make progress in building the life you want. Whether it’s updating your resume, applying for jobs, or finding a free course online, these small steps will help you move forward and rebuild your independence. - Let Go Gradually
Moving on from the past won’t happen overnight, but as you work on yourself, each day will bring more peace. Remember, you are strong, and you deserve a fulfilling and joyful life. Healing is a journey, and each step brings you closer to finding that happiness again.
Please note that this journey will be challenging, but each step you take will bring you closer to a brighter, more peaceful future. You have already shown so much strength by reaching out for help, and that strength will guide you forward. Believe in yourself and remember that better days are coming.
Yours Liz Uimbia
