You know, I’ve been thinking about how people come and go in our lives. Sometimes we don’t even realize the door has closed until much later. Some stay for just a season—a few months maybe—but the impact they leave? Whew. It can shake you. Sometimes it’s beautiful and you miss them deeply. Other times it’s so painful, it takes you months or even years to process. But either way, it changes you.
Then there are those who stick around for years. They become part of your journey, your stories, your inside jokes. But what I’ve come to see is that it’s not about how long someone stays. It’s about what they leave behind in you. The imprint.
Some people walk in and leave you lighter, better. Others leave wounds—and lessons. Big ones. Life ones.
And when I really think about it, a lot of who we are comes from the people who raised us—parents, guardians, caregivers. They pass down their love, yes, but also their fears, their wounds, their habits. Some of those habits serve us, and some… well, they become the stuff we have to unlearn later. That’s how the cycle starts.
You see, we grow up carrying all this emotional inheritance, and unless we become aware of it, we pass it on. That’s where stuff like codependency, narcissistic traits, emotional unavailability—all of it—comes in. And when we meet someone with these patterns later in life? It can flip our world upside down.
Let me tell you, when you cross paths with someone like a narcissist—or someone emotionally manipulative—life never stays the same. It’s like they grab hold of all the places inside you where you haven’t healed yet. It’s intense. Confusing. Sometimes even humiliating. And if you’re anything like me, at some point you ask, “Why me? Why did I have to go through this?”
But here’s what I’ve come to understand:
It’s because somewhere along the line, you stopped choosing you.
You let so much in that didn’t belong. You tolerated things you shouldn’t have. You ignored your gut. And your soul said, enough. It decided it’s time to wake up, to unlearn the old patterns. And sometimes, that awakening comes through the very person who breaks you.
Painful? Oh yes. But necessary. Because that relationship, that mess, that person—it becomes your teacher. You learn to set boundaries. You learn to say no. You learn to come back home to yourself.
If you’re in that storm right now—if you’re confused, doubting yourself, walking on eggshells—please hear me: you are not crazy. You’re just in the middle of a hard lesson. But you will come through.
You are whole.
You are enough.
You just need to remember who you are.
The empathy you give so freely to others? Start giving some to yourself. That’s not weakness—it’s strength. It’s healing.
And when you start loving yourself again—really loving yourself—you’ll stop attracting pain in disguise.
So, if no one’s told you lately:
Choose you. Love you. You’re worth it.
So here’s your reminder, my friend:
You were never too much. You just forgot to give yourself what you were so busy giving to everyone else.
Start today. Choose you. Love you. Again and again.
“Sometimes the person you need to love the most is the one in the mirror.”
