This Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about a different kind of relationship. Not the romantic one. Not even the friendships we cherish.
Let’s talk about the relationship you have with your own journey.
Most of us are incredible at loving destinations. We love the promotion, the launch, the “finally made it” moment. We celebrate goals achieved and milestones ticked off. We post the win. We toast the result.
But quietly, many of us have a toxic relationship with the process.
The early mornings.
The slow learning curves.
The uncertainty.
The messy middle where nothing looks impressive yet, but everything important is happening.
We endure the process instead of honoring it. And when we only value outcomes, something painful happens:
The 99% of our life spent getting there becomes heavy. A burden. A source of anxiety.
- A delay feels like failure.
- A mistake feels personal.
- A pause feels like falling behind.
We burn out chasing finish lines that keep moving—because once one goal is reached, another immediately replaces it.
The love shift that changes everything
The real transformation begins when you stop waiting to love your life after you arrive—and start loving it while you are becoming. When you fall in love with the process itself.
Here’s how to begin gently, honestly, and without pressure.
Redefine what a “win” really is
A productive day is not only about crossed-off tasks. Some days, a win looks like:
- Showing up even when motivation is low
- Learning one small lesson
- Respecting your energy instead of forcing productivity
- Sitting with a difficult emotion without running from it
- Choosing rest when rest is wisdom
A strategic pause is a win. Emotional regulation is a win. Consistency is a win—even when it’s quiet.
Learn to hunt for micro-wins
Big wins are rare. Process wins happen daily but only if you notice them.
Celebrate the draft, not just the launch. Honor the feedback integrated, not just the promotion. Applaud yourself for trying again.
At the end of each day, ask:
- Where did I grow today?
- Where was I patient?
- Where did I choose courage over comfort?
Write it down. These moments matter more than you think.
Speak to your journey with kindness
Your words shape your experience.
Try swapping: “I have to finish this” → “I get to focus on this.” “I should be networking” → “I choose to connect.” “I’m behind” → “I’m learning.”
Language turns pressure into permission. Burden into agency. Exhaustion into meaning.
Fall in love with the prototype
Your current work, your evolving skill, your becoming self—these are prototypes.
They are not meant to be perfect. They are meant to teach you.
When you stop demanding perfection and start cultivating curiosity, growth becomes lighter. More playful. More sustainable.
Love the questions.
Love the adjustments.
Love the becoming.
The quiet reward of loving your process
When you love your process, something powerful happens. Your worth is no longer tied to outcomes that fluctuate. It becomes rooted in your faithfulness.
Your effort .... Your integrity.
You build resilience that cannot be shaken by delays or detours and slowly and beautifully the journey itself becomes fulfilling…not just the destination.
This Valentine’s Day, here’s a gentle question to carry with you:
What small part of your daily process can you view with more kindness this week? The planning?
The learning?
The simple act of starting?
Share below 💕 Let’s normalize loving the journey, not just applauding the arrival.
